If Only I Had Made This Up

I can't believe this is actually happening to me.

I'm sitting here in a McDonald's, waiting for The Boy to be done with Scouts.

Conversation at the table next to me, two late teens:

"I know this girl, she know how to work the government."
"Really?"
"Yeah. She got her checks, she gets them to pay for her gas, and she ends up with money at the end and she don't even have to work."
"Sweet."

Have. Mercy.