Grace in Colored Squares

It's a funny thing that's happening, this.

The school year ramps up, and I pull out old charts.  Four kids, two states, and a lifetime of carefree happiness ago.  I pull off colored stickers that say, "Kindergarten with Mom" and prepare to change her sheet to "Pre-Algebra".  One child is off the plan, another added on.  Days that were full of activity boxes and playpens and "roomtime" and reading have suddenly become days full of first jobs, driving lessons, precalculus and high school credits. 

But through it all.

Grace upon grace upon grace upon grace.

Had you told me - 8 years ago, when I last made this chart - where I would be now, I would never have believed you. The joys, the aches, the unfulfilled longings, the complications and despair and unending prayer for that which we may never see. 

Had you told me - 8 years ago, when I last made this chart - the depths of my need and desire for Jesus, I would never have believed you.  Or thought it possible. Or wished for the heartache that brought me here.

Grace upon grace upon grace upon grace.

So I wistfully remove the "Arts and Crafts" time, and think and wonder - where will the next 8 years bring me?

Only one child in my homeschool.
Four more on the path to becoming. . . . what Jesus has for them. . . . . .

And I pray and I cry and I plead with the Lord, that He would make me faithful.  Faithful to these souls entrusted to me.  Faithful to help the man I have committed to walk through this life with. Faithful to the God who has called me and cleansed me and bought me with His precious blood.

And the son plays, "Meant to Be" on his iTunes account, at such a time as this.

Grace upon grace upon grace upon grace.

Sunday Sentiments: The Bassoonist's Guide to Mothering and Marriage

Well, it's "gig" season dear blog readers. . . . .the time of year when I get to dust off my trusty bassoon and rekindle my love for music by playing for some local churches and orchestras.  It's a good thing, being a bassoonist - see, there are something like a million hundred flute players, but very few who can make a bundle of sticks* sound even remotely musical.  I love the bassoon - it's weird, quirky, and fun.  (Kinda like me!)

Right now, I'm smack in the middle of concerts, and I've got a bit of a problem.  My reeds.  If I was a true southern girl, I'd take 'em out back for target practice.  Bassoon reeds are fickle things.  Since they're made of wood (special cane from France, you know!), they respond to a hundred different factors.  Temperature, humidity (helloooooo Alabama), you name it, I've got an issue with it.

And truthfully, one of the best pieces of advice I've ever gotten came from my bassoon professor in college.  He wasn't one of my favorites - and the feeling was mutual on his end, I believe - but I came away with this beauty:

Don't fall in love with your reed.

Huh?

Translation:  If you have a reed that's playing great?  Wonderful.  But don't expect it to always be that way.  If you have a reed that's not working?  Eh.  Chalk it up to a bad day, scrape it with your knife, and try again tomorrow.

Oddly enough, that little gem has stuck with me, and worked its way into my perspective on life, greatly impacting the way I look at my marriage and my relationship with my kids.

How so?  Let me 'splain.  No, there is too much.  Let me sum up:

Marriage.  There are those days when the hubby and I are crazy in love, enjoying each other's company, in complete rapture and happiness.  Great!  But I don't expect it to always be that way.  Then there are those days when every. single. thing. about him drives me crazy! (And who are we kidding??! It's vice versa for sure!)  Eh.  Chalk it up to a bad day,  a tough season. . . . and persevere.

Parenting.  There are those days when the kids are a joy.  Obedient, kind, intelligent, funny, just an absolute joy to be around.  Great!  But I don't expect it to always be that way.  Then there are those days when I'm done. toast. finished. frazzled.  and ready to throw in the mommy-towel! (And who are we kidding?  It's vice versa for sure! ;)  Eh.  Chalk it up to a bad day, lack of naps, a tough season. . . and persevere.

And although my professor didn't know it, he was on to a great truth:

"For I the Lord do not change, therefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed." (Malachi 3:6)

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever."  (Hebrews 13:8)

"The great thing to remember is that though our feelings come and go, God's love for us does not."  ~C.S. Lewis

 Though my reeds, my marriage, my parenting, my moods, my thoughts may change?

Jesus does not.  He is ever holy, merciful, just, loving, and mighty to save.  On that truth I stake my life, my soul, my all.


Remember the verse from the hymn?

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father,

There is no shadow of turning with Thee.

All I have needed Thy hands have provided,

Great is Thy faithfulnees, Lord, unto me!

He is faithful.  I will sing it to the end of my days.

Give me a decent reed, and I'll play a few bars, too!